Are They Even Listening?

If you’ve ever led people, been in a relationship or raised children, you’ve felt the frustration of having to ask for things multiple times before it gets done.

Are you tired of repeating yourself?

Try these four things, and you’ll feel your influence grow and your frustration shrink. As you improve your ability to clearly communicate, you’ll be amazed at the obstacles you can avoid. Your communication is what gets the team rowing harder and in the same direction.

Let’s make it happen.

The principle is this: It’s not what you say, but how you say it that makes all the difference.

This is a lesson I learned from author and teacher Dick DeVenzio, and it’s unlocked my leadership potential. You need to develop a clear and powerful delivery, otherwise it doesn’t matter what you know - your expertise will die with you. Here’s the 4 steps to improve your delivery…

You can remember it as NITE communication:

N — Names

Dale Carnegie said, “The sweetest sound in any language is the sound of a person’s name”.

Have you ever said, “I’m the worst at remembering names”? Let me coach you…that is a limiting belief; REMOVE IT. You just don’t care about people’s names enough. If you did, you’d be more intentional. When you meet someone for the first time, use their name 3 times in the first 30 seconds. When you speak to a team member, use their name first. When you deliver coaching, get attention with a name before you correct or encourage.

SAVI Tip: Record yourself, on your phone for a whole practice, then just watch and listen. You’ll be amazed what you see and you’ll be able to coach yourself into better communication. Really want to improve your communication? Send me an email and I’ll coach you through the recording and help you become a world class communicator.

I — Information

If you’re repeating yourself all the time, it’s your fault.

Most average communicators say the same thing over and over, only louder. Which is both a poor strategy and exhausting. Instead, if you don’t get the results you seek, assume they’ve never been taught, and provide the information they need to change.

For example, most coaches rant about communication and talk on defense. They scream, “TALK!” over and over. Most players don’t talk because they really don’t know what to say in each situation. Instead yelling generalities, identify a player and provide specific information.

“Dante - in transition, every time, you must point at the opposing ball handler and tell your teammates, I GOT WOLF.”

Assume they’ve never been taught, and you’ll become a better teacher.

T — Touch

If you’re not seeing results, I’d be willing to bet you’re taking withdrawals without enough deposits.

No one wants to follow an angry, screaming and negative leader. No one wants to listen to constant yelling and blame. All those things eat away at the balance of your relationship with those you lead. If you don't want to get tuned out,
MAKE MORE DEPOSITS.

The simplest way to ensure you’re making deposits is to start every practice, meeting or trip with a positive touch when you enter the room. A mere fist bump, high five or a pat on the shoulder builds connection and builds up good will so when you correct or make a demand, you’ve got a balance to draw on.

E — Eyes

Eye contact key, set the absolute standard for giving attention.

Be the change! If you want to be listened to, become a world class listener. When others speak…lock in, give attention, show you are engaged with your eyes and nodding, then ask follow up questions. Model the behavior you want to see in those you lead.

If you establish a standard for your team, a healthy culture can grow around it. See how many times this week you can show you are present with your eyes. Put down the phone, turn away from the screen, calm your mind and connect through the eyes. It builds trust.

We’re kicking off our 4-week July cohort where I help you establish standards like these in your program. Interested in joining us for a month? Just click here or reply to this email.

I’m Tyler, this is SAVI and we’re here to help.